Soul SearchingOne major flaw i know today, and has been quite apparent for some time now, is that i tend to have a single mindset change whenever i proceed on in that very nice little wonder game we call love, relationships, whatever you dig it is called. For the sake of simplicity, and deepness, lets just call that small little game, love.subject number one was a nice little girl, whom laughed at almost everything, even if it is only funny to her. In the past, i could talk with her and speak as friends. But gradually, i developed that small little precursor to that Love, and so i dived into Love. Playing the starting part of observation was easy, and i could easily revert to my crappy self to escape any acts that deem suspicious. But apparently, that single word "try" is implanted in my head. And so i tried my luck. Turns out, my luck was there. I had hope, but from that single revelation day onwards, my whole behaviour changed. i became a creature of few words, and of few bullshit. i became a person of low self-confidence, always seeking to impress, and totally not being myself. Guess how the story turned out? subject number two was another nice little girl, whom is so sweet about everything, and even handles relationship in a open-minded way. you have to hand it to her, she can have this huge amount of problems on her shoulders, yet she doesnt appear to have any amount of strain. Strong girl. i wont dwell much into this girl, but she said something that made me realise my changes whenever i go deeper into Love. So guess what, i am gonna make a resolution to change. Friends shall remind as friends. Even if it takes a whole deal of effort to make myself behave as a friend, i will do it. For i cannot go on like this. Justin ranted at 9:20:00 pm on the |