11 things you dont know about me
i was a geek in secondary school. If you saw my past picture, i can guarantee that you would laugh in disbelief and go, that's you? i was flipping through my old books that day, and i laughed at how loserish i was in secondary school. perhaps i would post some of the conversation here, but till then, i leave it to you to imagine. [Some people might think i am still a loser. To that, i have only two words. Fuck you]
i see no purpose in my life. dont tell me about religion shit. i see the end of life as the end. nothing else. no soul, no nothing. Soul is just the activity of the brain. Offended? dont be, thats why you dont know this about me.
i am oversensitive. Once, joyce was laughing like a hyena when i said i was a SNAG [sensitive new age guy]. i put up a false front, and laughed along too, but i was slightly insulted. oversensitive i am. i tend to think too much about everything. Stephanie always tells me not to jump to conclusion, but i always do that. And i tend to tread stuff too carefully, thus losing the chance to do whatever i wanna do or achieve.
i used to collect stamps. until i again, see no purpose in it, and lost my interest. The nicest stamps i ever got was this long stamp of beautiful mushrooms.
i admire beauty. yea, i know, everyone likes beauty. Guys lust over beauty, girls go ga-ga over it. i lust over beauty sometimes. I am not ashamed to say it. The human body is a beauty itself to behold. See a few of the artistic nude photos in DeviantArt and you would understand. For the rest of you who would misinterpret this, well dear, fuck you right back.
i had a bazliion crushes in my life. And always, i tend to let it go just like that. I remember in secondary school, i liked this girl, and i realise she likes me too, but hey, i choked up, and she went to this other guy. Well well, me the by-stander. in JC, you know what i always do, and still, i choked it all up. Love is perfectly cruel to me.
i am depressed everyday. I trash around in my room, trying to rid this angst in me. This stupid feeling of depression is always there. you all see my wonderous acting skills when i am out with people, but all alone..thats a different matter all along.
I dislike two, or i should say, three people in my class. And dont worry gals, its the guys . i dont hate or dislike adeline anymore. just apathetic to her. i wont say much here.
I have millions of nicknames, Flat head, Bian tou fa, minari, elfangor [from some animorph book], anyhow, kutu man [you know, flea man, heads have too much lice...], jap pervert, jellyfish. oh, and my favourite, after my pencil case, TSM [The sex maniac]. Dont ask me why.
i have another diary which is kept under wraps. Nobody has seen it. it contains all my rantings, and my depression writings. Perhaps, when its right, i would show it to certain people. But its not now.
i have one fear. And that is i fear that people wouldnt accept me. And from the vibe i am geting everyday now, i fear this is slowly coming true.
Justin ranted at 3:55:00 pm on the
6 October 2004
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