After the episodeSo its after the call. Maybe i am better. Maybe i am not. Best i just shut that part of me out and focus on what i wanna talk about today.As people put it, sadness seem to give way to inspiration. Somehow, when you are sad, you tend to be more inclined to do things, write things you dont usually write, focus on the more frustrating aspect of life. It somehow gives your works, your art, anything more depth. Ironically, even in the midst of my happiness, i somehow want to experience such sadness again. My past thoughts, my past words, everything stem from this ability or at least uncanny habit of mine to write great poems in the midst of my sadness, like a depression channelled to be used in a much more purposeful manner. Somehow now, i am back to my previous self, thoughtless person provoking mindless retoric about things people care not about. Like small children that dance their crazy, yet strangely elegant dances when they hear the music of life, my thoughts just run along this same irregularity of my mind. Of slow shallow crawlings in the dark, as my hands slowly moved in search of this heart that i call home. Of crying in the light, as the sun slowly dried up my tears, giving me a look so haggard, people stare at the ground as i walk past them. Of slaying my own dreams, so that my nightmares can manifast in the heart of stone. Of giving one eye, one limb, so that the sky could see and climb on the platform i write my thoughts on. i read this article about baby 81 in sri lanka, how it was being chased after by so many couples, painfully being protected by the hospital. I wonder at times, whether we are all narsisstic creatures who care only for themselves. What is life but just fufilling ourselves? we complain when we see someone with a bigger share than us. i remember my childhood days, where me and my sibilings often squabble about the fair share of sweets, chocalates. But when one has more than the other person, one just keeps quiet, and hope they dont find out. We just live to complete ourselves. Perhaps that why we search for love, for we find another person who is able to complement us in life, show us the complete path in Life. Perhaps that is why, even though i feel empty at the start of writing this blog, i suddenly feel whole again. Justin ranted at 10:09:00 pm on the |