Personal commentary 1what was a week without using the computer? personally, i thought it would be quite bad, but then, it turned out that it wasnt that bad at all. I suppose the start of the school was quite bad though. Sign, me being below barrons, i need to increase my vocabulary and stop using the word "bad" so often.So thus begin the school term. Staying at my new apartment near the malaysia checkpoint, so that i wouldnt need to spend so much time travelling to the checkpoint. sadly, there isnt much technology there, so no internet, no computer, no access to the outside world, except with the phone though. A personal commentary of the events: Firstly, a disclaimer. Do not, above all, feel offended, sad, angry when you read this thing. It is merely another episode i tend to immortalise in this blog. Be it saddening, depressing, or down right embarassing, everything goes into this thing. Of no circumstances do i want to ever offend you even a bit, for you are my one true love, and i would rather die before even try and intentionally deal some hurt into your heart. I dont want to ever see you cry, and i dont want to quarrel again. perhaps i should learn some patience and tolerance. I'll start with an apology. I am very sorry to ever cause you so much pain. But things that have to be said have to be said. I sometimes do not practise what i always preach. But you showed me how, and you listened, even in the midst of all the pain that you felt. You tried to change, and for that i cannot expressed how much fonder i have grown for you, and that your every actions make me fall in love even more. The starting of the school term was a grand day. I was waiting impatiently for her to arrive. but when she did, it seems that i couldnt find much things to say to her. And she was trying to catch up with other people. But i knew the ways of flexibility, so i gave it to her. But it turns out, it wasnt that good. Giving the ways of flexiblity, one can get easily taken for granted. I felt like that, and it wasnt a very good feeling either. I felt that she doesnt love me anymore. My nights were suddenly consumed by doubts, by thoughts that she didnt love me anymore, didnt care for me, cared more for friends. It was heart breaking. I didnt know what to do. We had a talk. On tuesday, when i first told her my sentiments And on wednesday, where it didnt seem to have improve. Had some talk, and cleared up some matters. I was plesantly surprised when she told me that she had recieved this sign from God that our relationship would last. For the first time in my life, i believed in religion, at that moment on. It seems that people could be changed when there is true love. Things could only seem to improve from then on. personally, i thought i myself learned a huge lesson. That one should never ever be possesive over the other. I do get uneasy when she talks to other people, but i played that down, for i do talk to other people too. It not as if she is a complete loner, and is totally dependent on me. I learned that one needs tolerance, and that mindset to see that talking and laughing with other people is just a sign of friendship, and trust in her more. I can only thank her for this invaluable insight. Everyone seemed to have grown a bit since their JC lives has begun. We seen people grown up, and fall, and come back up again. We have seen people change. But it would only be true change if we accept what has change, and learn to live with it. Today was a day that wasnt too bad. Actually, it was a very nice day indeed. I feel that the more time i spend with her, the more i fall more in love with her. Its surrender at its utmost purity. Justin ranted at 11:31:00 pm on the |