I am blinded by my inactivityThe past how many months has been turmulous to say the least. Talk about the pain, the tears, the laughter, the recovery, the falling. everything was in essence a pathway to the end of my own demise, but thankfully, one recovers to think of the bright lighht that befalls me when the clouds clears from the deep blue sky.There are many things that i have done that i have regretted deeply. I dont like the way i have done things, and many of them could have been done better. In retrospect, i have indeed broken down into a small introvert, breaking the walls of my own noise to find refuge in the silence that slowly decays the person i am inside. Making known of the pain was one thing. Making unknown of the desires that i dont want to show is another. Basics of mentality on the verge of insanity is my choice. But its not now. I did many things that are wrong, due to my inexperience, the purpose of my head trying to deal with the many noise around. i just want to say sorry. And that will be the start of my new lease of bright life. Well well well..my dear minghao. How long have you been away from the bloggin scene? The many activities that have passed you by is absolutely absurb. you have been driven to the edges of the ignored. Where is your voice now? Dear readers. Well..actually. i dont have any readers now. Thanks to my closure. All thanks to it. The past few months were hella fun. Sorta. I dont have much recollection of my times spend. But i do remember how much i have smiled, and how much i have seen my own self in the basic desire to sucide. But its the past. None will be spoken about it. Pain is something i have to deal. Sensitivity is something i have to cut down. Brokeness is something i have to fixed. And laughter is something i have to gain. I have nothing to lose. And everything to gain. Like my driving. Shucks. Its been a while since i last drove. Even though i failed twice, out of stupid shit (idiot. Who FAILS twice??), i know my stuff. i hate their exams. Its just so strict, like a string trying to strangle me. And the cost! my gosh, imagine paying just 200 for a driving test that is so short, and so strict that a slight mistake could send you reeling into failure. Even my instructors sympathise with me. But i am just making excuses. What good are those? haha. I just want to start this over again. Minghaa, here i come to redeem you once more! Justin ranted at 12:14:00 pm on the |