My drafts. Not.
13/1/2006 - Short thoughts of boredom
Random thought: Love is like wine, it gets stronger as time goes by. Opinion: Nay...
Love is not like wine, nor can it be akin to anything other than the complexity of the waves, how they splash on certain shores, how they move with irregular beauty. It cannot be akin to anything but the simplicity of just a single touch. It cannot be akin to anything but the diverse array of living things in Nature. It cannot be akin to anything but the strict single mindedness of a automaton, an ant for example. It cannot be akin to anything but just a single word, a word that resonates through everyone's mind, a single word that means so much, yet means so little. It can only be akin to the word Love.
Love is a million and one emotions, all rolled up into that specific word. Lust, or passion, whichever way you see it. Obesesion, or pure emotion to want to spend forever with that person. Happiness, or rapture. The different interpretaions are wide and boundless, and its up to a single person feeling that same emotion to intepret it as they* want.
[*side note: the word "they" is actually a true gender-neutral pronoun, but because of a law passed by the English Parliament in the 1850 or someone close to it, the word "they" actually became pural. Link to evidence: http://www.damninteresting.com/?p=330]
Random thought: Thriller movies are awesome. Opinion: OH yea!
If you have never watched Red Eye, then go watch it now. Though short, the movie empowers what i feel a thriller should do. It should be able to make your heart beat faster, as adrenaline is pumped into your body. It should be able to make you move closer to the screen, speak to the main character as the movie reaches its climax, and it should, of all thrillers, be simplistic in plot, but deviously clever in execution. Though i must admit, the plot in Red Eye case is actually quite short, and the ending is a bit abrupt, and somewhat predictable, but in all, it made my heart beat out of my chest, and i was caught up with the suspense, never wanting to leave my seat. And sadly, it shouldnt be one that you want to watch again. You will know what is going to happen, and that is gonna kill the suspense so much. However, you could always watch it like 10 years down the road, but then you might still remember it.
Too bad.
Random thought: I am confused Opinion: I shant go think about it.
The more i proceed to think about it, the more thoughts i have, and the more confused i become, the more doubtful of the future i become, and the more butterflies i feel in my stomach. Sadly, its been on my mind for the past week, and its a hard thought to push away. I need to talk to someone, but i am caught up with work. Guess i have to deal with it slowly myself.
Random thought: Otak is good. Opinion: Only to be taken in large quantities though. Heh.
But the stupid store sells it in measly quantities. And it gets lesser as time goes by. Cheater!
Life is sure boring when there is work. But nothing beats a night of relaxation after work. It makes it all the more heavenly and it sure feels mighty good.
Ahh...
16/2/2006 - Sorrow and despair
Dear sir / madam,
I am writting this letter to you, not because i know we will never meet, nor isit because i am hoping that this will get to the right person, but it is because i have nobody to turn to, no one to talk to. And the demons in my shell is starting to break me down. So, my good sir/madam, pray listen to my tale of woe, and that one day, by some miracle will i finally meet and talk to such a person, i will thank you for your patient and timeless concern.
A tale of woe should begin, like all tales of woe, with a pinch of sadness, the bitterness permeated through every single word of the story. But we beg to differ, my good sir/madam. We beg to differ. It may be the consequential thought of me being the same as every other single cliche story that makes me shiver with fright at the lack of originality, but i digress. I should add that somehow, throughout the course of the words that are written on this digital canvas, should there be any smudges, please forgive thee, for emotions may run like the wind, and flow with the harshness, and carefree nature of the wind child. And thus, begin this small little tale of woe. A happy one. Yet an ironically sad tale.
The heart is indeed fragile, dont you think so, my good sir/madam? It is simple, yet complex in nature. We think of it as an emotional entity, that breaks when something sad happens. but yet, it is only a biological entity that pumps blood through our body. Truly, it is amazing how humans can tend to personify, and assume the seemingly instrinsic nature of deviously simple objects of nature. I am indeed broken, and silently facing the torture of my heart. How could it so much as pain me, stabbing my psyche with the force of a million sandstorms? How could it be something so essential to my survival, yet it is something i wish i could tear into a million pieces, just hoping, in vain, that the suffering will go away. And still, my good sir/madam, the mind wants to play tricks with me too. With the pain, comes the mental and logical reasoning that tend to delude you, makes one paranoid, and gives you the perfect reason to forget about everything, and just jump off to rid yourself of this curse. With all this bottled up emotions, it makes me wonder sometimes, sometimes, when i am just silently in my room, with my thoughts reverbrating around the walls of my mind, that how come i have broken down, and drown my own self in the tears of my sorrow? I am tempted to try that. But my good sir/madam, is that what a man should do? Should i give in to all this, and break down into a fit, and turn violent over everything? I have lost every single ounce of angst in me. Yet how do i get rid of all this confusion?
Good sir / madam. Tell me! You have lived your lives through the imagination of man. You have been through the stories, the words of man. you have seen the world. Can you tell just a simple man like me what to do? When my world comes crashing down, what should i do? Should i give up and do nothing? It seems awfully easy. Or should i give in to the emotions and let looose. But it will come back, the haunting imagery of pain just never fading with the juxtaposition with relief and comfort.
31/3/2006 - Your Five Factor Personality Profile Extroversion:
You have medium extroversion. You're not the life of the party, but you do show up for the party. Sometimes you are full of energy and open to new social experiences. But you also need to hibernate and enjoy your "down time."
Conscientiousness:
You have medium conscientiousness. You're generally good at balancing work and play. When you need to buckle down, you can usually get tasks done. But you've been known to goof off when you know you can get away with it.
Agreeableness:
You have high agreeableness. You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly. Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone. You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance.
Neuroticism:
You have medium neuroticism. You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic. Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy. Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of.
Openness to experience:
Your openness to new experiences is high. In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas. You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits. A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.
The Five Factor Personality Test
9/7/2006 - It's beginning to get to me "You are the only thing that makes sense, just ignore all this present tense." - Snow Patrol It's beginning to get to me
This is one of the best lyrics i have ever seen. I heard the song, over and over again. Its about the heartbreak of a man whom is trying to tell the girl that he doesnt understand her one bit. And its getting to him. It speaks right to the heart, and it kinda depressing, but its the lyrics that spoke out to me. Especially that one line.
All the drafts that never made it to the final edit. Once my friends wanted me to do a book, or some sort of collection of my life from all my blog entries. Maybe i should do that one day. Maybe not. I am too lazy. :p
Justin ranted at 12:23:00 pm on the 29 August 2006
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