Sleep OutageDo you sleep well everyday? Do you get up to 6-8 hours of sleep everyday? Do you feel the urge to hit the sack once you get back home from school? Or the reluctance to get up everytime you sleep? Do you start nodding off in lectures? In full view of your peers (who will start calling you sleepyhead. i know. i am one.) and your lecturers?But you have tried everything right? From counting sheeps on your wall papers, on a artistic drawing, to drawing "Z" until you sleep? Or eating tons of sleeping pills, and foam at your mouth and get a pure peaceful (but risky) sleep at the hospital? Or maybe you tried to knock yourself unconscious just to wake up refreshed, but with a headache? Where can one just find that elusive wakefulness that happens after a good night sleep? Ah, i have the solution my friends. Introducting...Sleep Outage! the newest in Sleep Technology. Or lack thereof. It is free, non pollutive, yet it gives you what you want. That wakefulness that happens after a good night sleep! It runs on nothing but your pure willpower, which we all know never runs out, for it isnt really there, but that's another story for another day. Sleep Outage is a revoluntionary notion thought up by the smartest and most intelligent guy on Earth. heh. Ahem. Anyways, it is basically just one easy step. Dont sleep. Yes! Now you might start to question. Why? If i dont sleep, wouldnt i be even more sleepy? Ah, but here is the beauty of it. Imagine if you just dont sleep like at 2am. Do you feel even more awake? Of course you do. Of course you must. That is the beauty of Sleep Outage! The lack of sleep will allow you to do whatever you want, with that wakefulness that you get after you have a good night sleep. All without sleeping!* Imagine the amount of time you save! and you will still be awake!* Of course, Sleep outage is a elusive art not known to many people. Thus, for this time only, we are having an introductry price to the Sleep Outage package, which includes a tool which keeps your eyes open, so you wouldnt sleep no matter what, a video casette with nothing but sounds of people snoring to train your sleep intolerance, and the words sleep outage! Printed with Times new roman font on a piece of floppy sticker that you can pass anywhere to proclaim that, yes! i am a proud user of Sleep Outage. Of course it comes with intructions also, but that is not the point. The point is, it is available just for a cheap price of $19.99! And look at what you get! No more wasting time getting that sleep you ever wanted, and no more nodding off! Isnt that such a good deal?? Call now, or rather, order now, and you will receive a FREE copy of sleep less, achieve more, by Dr Amn Otslee Ping*, a renowned sleep scientist worth $9.99! Hurry! while stocks last!* Side effects might include: Nausea, loss of consciousness, lack of concentration, blurry vision, slow decaying of your health, increasing insanity, poor coordination, lack of motor control, and ultimately Death. BUT BUT BUT!! LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE! YOU ACHEIVE WAKEFULNESS ALL WITHOUT SLEEPING! ISNT THAT A BETTER DEAL OR WHAT!! :) Forgive me, i havent been having much sleeping, thus this absurb advertisement about sleeping outages. Seriously, if anybody wants it, i dont mind making it. Its just my gawd, a low price of $19.99!! Hurry! :) Justin ranted at 3:15:00 am on the |