What it takesi sometimes get the blues, on days where i am all alone, with nobody to talked to. On those days, i sit down and do nothing but watch videos, play games, and practically waste what was given to me. On those days, i read books, stop while i switch the music, continue reading the same page again while singing along, completely misreading the context of books. On those days, i sleep, in my bed, on the sofa, in the car, standing, sitting, walking. On those days, i am indoors, and i remember John Mayer singing about the great indoors, something about leaving the great indoors.Damn that song. it is especially strong, the blues, on days that i think about special events, things happening to other people. My momma used to say that i shouldnt think so much, my brain would turn to mush. I should plan for my future, but all i could see is the next minute of the clock, that i just wasted and washed away from my own life. It is a strange little creature, this feelings of blue. They are like worms, eating at you, but never consuming anything but that infinite amount of pain that a person can feel. I used to tell myself that it will go away, and convince myself that sometimes things happen. But the worms never seem to entirely disappear. They may appear satisfied, but the niggling feeling still bothers me some. I would then tell myself that something is wrong with what i am doing about it. Why do i feel like that? I do know the reason, but i wont just admit it. It takes courage to admit their loss, and their feelings, and i dont have the capacity to do that, at least on days where i am blue. I know how i feel about things, but i dont want to accept them, for it is wrong. It is the wrong thinking. Dont degrade yourself, momma said, you are special. Like everybody else, you are unique, but you are the same as everybody else. I never really understood what she meant, until i grew up and found that everyone has their own problems. They just dont talk about it. It is up to them to let it affect them, or just treat them from a distance, and solve that intricate puzzle. but i let it get to me. And so i try to distract myself. And it takes movies to remind myself that i am not alone in this, and that people with bigger problems get by their lives happily. I realised that i never really caught Forest Gump. I started the first few minutes and i am already touched. I cant believe that i missed such a show. Maybe it was caused it was shown in 1994, the age where i remember disney and all that stuff. Watching it now makes me wonder what happened to this kind of shows nowadays. And somehow, it chased away the blues. Back to the show, with me feeling much better about everything. One more day to china. Momma said i need to pack soon, and so i will. After this show, momma. Edited: forest gump has just got to be one of the most touching shows i have ever watched. Inspirational, abit far fetched, but still plausible, and with realistic characters, raw emotions, and an excellent acting by Tom Hanks. The ending was ever so touching and strong. Damn, i still cant believed i missed it all this years. Justin ranted at 11:18:00 pm on the |