HumSo hum hallelujah I just love that part of the chorus in that song. And the riff during the chorus is addictive. Somehow at least. Fall out boys rocks, at least for the first half of the album. After that the songs got weaker, which didnt really got my attention, though they did try to create some nice sounding tunes. Had a CS meeting today. Suddenly FOC is upon us. And i am starting to worry whether i will be able to do my job well as an OGL, knowing that i am not that outgoing a person. Will try my best i guess, but i remember i always step out of my comfort zone during camps, especially when i was the OGL once during my secondary school days as a prefect. Ah, those nostalgic times. As the time goes past, the holidays seems to get shorter and shorter. I want it to end, yet i dont want it to end. I guess that fickle human beings for you. Slowly i drift. That was a nice thing to do at least. It doesnt seem to be of any importance anymore, and i realised what it all meant. My confusions has ended, and suddenly it seemed to set me free. Still, it doesnt explain an instant of panic yesterday night at around 2 plus. Maybe its just that more and more things are happening, and i cant deal yet. But i can now. I know i can, and i will. What do people blog anyway? To write what they want to say? I remember i used to talked about my feelings about everything, democracy, life, religion, pain, suffering, love, happiness, sadness. Nowadays, the inspiration just dried up, even though there are some times where i seem to develop a different way of writing. Nowadays, its more prose than poetry. Its more long sentences than succinct. Its more obvious, than reluctant. My guitar playing has left me with alot of callous skin on my left fingertips. And the fingernails on them are short, while my right hand is extremely long. Makes it easier to pick the strings, and it doesnt hurt that much. But now it makes it a perilous operation when putting on and off my contacts. haha I remember how i used to brood everyday. Now i just slack. Kinda a downgrade now. Sigh. Again, why do i even bother to blog. The only times where i truly blog, is when i had my school work, which gave me alot of things to think about. I havent truly gotten my flow even though i finished year 1 of university. Maybe it will get better, and i will have more things to talk about again. I blog for myself, yet i want people to read it. I blog for everyone, but i self-censor, something which i really hate. People who have blogs sometimes just want to write anything that they want, and there are tons of those. Others just have blogs, to write their life stories. My friend used to tell me that i could take my old opendiary account and publish a book with it. Haha, i missed those opendiary days. i really did wrote some stuff there, and there was a phase that i went through during that time. I used to be so depressed, and angry all the time. Gothic and horror became part of me. Almost did cut myself at a point in time, which i am glad i didnt. Come to think about it, i am mortified that i actually stared at a sharp scissor and thought about how pretty it is. I still have some fascination on sharp blades, especially those sleek knives. But that is pretty much it. I hate gory films, thought that saw was good, saw II was over-rated and dont really understand what the hell is up with people liking gory movies. I pretty much am a more optimistic person now, but there is still the remnants of my past lurking deep in me. I revert to it sometimes, and i fail utterly in social situations at times, not knowing what to talk about. Maybe its the lack of experiences that i have had in my life. But i know i did have some really good friends, whom sad to say lost contact with. Its a terrible thing, to lose contact with some of your best friends. But c'est la vie. Distance keeps people apart, and there isnt much you can do about it you know? Unless you make the effort to do something about it i guess. But seldom people do. I know i seldom do that. some people think that i am pretty sociable, but i have to disagree. If you think not, you hit jackpot. I wont say what i think it is out, as it will ultimately register itself as true. In black and white, even through little pixels on the screen, it really makes you realised the truth. Pretty random post. A pretty pretty random post. Justin ranted at 1:03:00 am on the |