It's all he needsthe night slowly drips by him, the light surrounding him slowly dims, and the sounds fades into the horizon. His parents awake slowly, stir at the crashes he makes from his slow clumsy turns in the dark. They open the door, and stare right at him. Breathe in. Breathe out. A scream he hears, and he tells them, just shut up, i am almost done. Breathe in. Breathe out. A scream he hears again, and he doesnt bother answering them.A slow nocturnal feeling creeps up his back, as he turns back to the screen. MSN windows flashes pass him as the darkness clams down on him. Type. Type. Type. He types furiously at the screen, the words meaningless to nobody but only himself. He always writes in circles, hidden in the centre, the gem of his story, everything summarised in that one paragraph. If the person that he intended it for found the right one, he would have said what he wanted to say to people that he so longed to talk to. Maybe over coffee. A movie perhaps. Some trip to the beach. A bar. A club, with sweating bodies coagulating into a pile of moving musical notes at the drop of a beat. Maybe a restaurant? Or a walk in the park, the moon light breathing over you, and shining beyond to give live and make every single features perfectly outlined. What about a magical trip to an imaginary island, where everything you wished comes true? Or a library! You can read what you want, and they will take you to places that you would never even thought of in your semi-wild dreams. No? Over the phone? So at least he can hear your voice, speak to you, and maybe focus on that wanting he had always kept at his breast? An email? He can write for you! He swears! He will form the prettiest poetry, with the verses so succinct, yet carrying meanings that only fitting for you. Not even that will please you? MSN? Please? No. All right. He gives up, his head suddenly disconnected from his muscular control. As you wish, and he disappears into the nightmare of yours, gone with the whispering sounds of your sleeping breath. the years has pass so ever quickly. he remembers the last time he was happy, and it wasnt that few weeks ago. Not even that few months ago. But he remembers that he must be happy, for that is who he wants to be. He has already tried to run from the past that had kept him, kept him from doing what he wanted to do. Assertiveness, that's what he lacks. And he wants to make up for it. He threw himself in all sorts of activities, and done things that he never thought he would be doing. For the sake of losing his past. For the sake of changing himself. For the sake of nobody, but everybody else. The walls starts to open up around him. One. By. One. Two. By. Two. They. Fall. Flat. on. his. Feet. He stares into the open freedom that he so longed to run towards, the breathtaking view of the earth's nature all surrounding him. He felt himself inching so close to it. Just one more step more. Just one more. It's all he want. One more step, and finally, he will be free from the chains that had pin him down for so long. He has learned, and learned he did. That is all he asked of his captors. Free him, and finally, everything will fall into place. So dont be afraid of something new, sings Evermore. He believes that he doesnt need to be afraid anymore. Not now, not ever, not never. Forever. Justin ranted at 1:38:00 am on the |