Ego can be the strangest thingIt keeps you going, gives you the air of arrogance, yet there are times when it is actually all you have. It hides your insecurity, and shows that you are strong, you ignore the pain inside of you, when it is actually eating you away. It gives you strength, your confidence lies in the power of it, but when all it does is project the fake you, and never really showing who you are truly.Given the circumstances this semester, you can safely say that self-esteem is closely linked to a person's ego. When the ego is broken, so is the self-esteem. However, when your self-esteem is broken, you can put up a fake front, and still have an ego, albeit a shaky one that often needs some form of concentration and reminder yourself to keep it going. There are times when i am tested and whether i passed or failed, it is a reminder to myself that i still have a long way to go in life, and that i have made mistakes, which i hope i will have learned from. Today, i had a Winning Eleven Competition in Hall, sort of like a mini tournament of sorts. I lost after the second round. While going back to my room, it made me think why i had lost, because i played the way i usually played, and usually it worked. Then it was my roommate who reminded me of the tactical decisions that made me lose. I always thought that i was quite bad at something, but i realised that maybe it is because i made the strong decisions, i went up against people who are much better than me. I still have alot to learn, and i will improve. Even if my morale is decreased when losing, i know that i tried. I managed to at least scored, but because of the way i play, it will ultimately mean i am actually lost due to a poor tactical decision. Still, a learning lesson after all. Justin ranted at 9:56:00 pm on the |