It really seems to bethere is just one single word for this, and it is called Reprise.there is a certain factor that is going on, and you can see it going on repeat. Like a broken jukebox, certain elements start to follow a pattern that since you have been trying desperately to avoid. yet like a broken jukebox, probably the reason why this is happening is due to the lack of technical knowledge behind the operation that you are going through. Strangely enough, there never seems to be any form of progress, for the wall that hits is something that doesnt break. at a point in time, your mind is full of possibilities, and every single thing that you do changes the what ifs, and every single prediction that you make either gives you hope or gets you downtrodden. at a point in time, you just feel like you should stop doing anything, and wait for the next move, only you know that it will never come. there are warning signs placed all over the path that you are walking. you look, and yet your tread on, either oblivious to the facts that are against you, or you are just plain desperate. In actuality you dont know what exactly you are heading towards. You just see a strange point in the distance, and you know that is your destination. What is there, you do not know, you just know that is your goal, the thing that you have been made for. That is your goal. You know, you could actually try heading back the way that you came. The Dodos start to play the song, walking, and they tell you that you can fight the fire in the head. But you know you cant. Strangely, the same song is exactly what you are feeling right now. But as the song progresses, it cuts off the meaning that you have been searching for, and you are back to square one, unable to escape from the fate that you have brought yourself into, either through your own actions or some other interventions. what is going to happen, you have no idea. you know there are things that you can do now to rectify this situation, and all of them scream for protection. You can do this, but that will lead you to discovery, and nobody wants that. You can do that, but it will bring you so much closer to the floor, with you crashing headfirst into the solid ground beneath you. You can do all of those, but it will just break what you held dear. You can do all of these, but it will just bring a set of confusion into your life. Something that you do not need right at this moment. yet you need to do something. You need a sign, telling you what exactly you need to do. You hate to take risks, yet at this moment in time, that is all you have right now. For some, it might come naturally, but for others, it takes hardwork, luck and plenty plenty of luck. You wish you could read minds, then it wouldnt be so hard. "you" tends to take you away from it all. "you" tends to allow you the flexibility to talk about anything about "yourself" and still feel fine and impersonal. It's like looking at your life from an outside point of view. But you are just kiddin yourself. as the night grows weary of your emoting, the strength drains away. without action there is still reprise. and it is not what you want. Justin ranted at 1:23:00 am on the |